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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29089179">The Peace of Wild Things</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lilia_ula/pseuds/Lilia_ula'>Lilia_ula</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Ben doesn't know what hit him, Ben is her landlord, Dom/sub Undertones, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Making imperfect decisions, Mixed Signals, Oral Sex, Rey has a thing for giving head, Rey is an artist, Self-Imposed Edging, Temptation makes fools of us all, Therefore power imbalance, Trust Kink, Yearning and pining galore, imperfect characters, mutual consent, sexual favors</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-05-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 11:55:11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>9,015</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29089179</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lilia_ula/pseuds/Lilia_ula</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>She thought of her landlord, wondering what he’d think, wondering what he’d do. Then, she looked around her loft—smooth, worn oak floors, rustic brick walls, her art corner with its easel and paint-splattered drop cloth. Her heart throbbed plaintively. She couldn’t lose the flat she so loved. Meeting her own eyes in the mirror again, Rey faced the truth.  </p><p>  <i>There was no rent, and she didn’t know when she’d have it.</i></p><p>Without giving her plan another thought, she slipped on her crocheted ballet flats and marched out the door.</p><p> </p><p>  <b>*Alternate Summary*</b></p><p> <br/>Rey: If you're human, you sometimes make irrational decisions.<br/>Ben: If you're human, you'll have succumbed to temptation at some stage in your life.<br/>Audience: Sinning is winning.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>84</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>153</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Never Enough Playtime</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Rey</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Credit: The title of this fic was borrowed from the exquisite <a href="https://onbeing.org/poetry/the-peace-of-wild-things/">poem</a> by Wendell Berry. A more beautiful bit of wisdom, you'll never find.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>Rey forced herself to breathe as she stepped into the airy pool of fabric—<em>i</em><em>n through the nose, fill your lungs completely, slow, steady stream out through the mouth </em> —slipping the dress up her nude body and buttoning the pearl buttons that cinched the bodice. <em> That’s right, breathe of the oxygen; good, calming oxygen.  </em></p><p> </p><p>Turning, she examined herself in the mirror. Her chin lifted a little, confidence boosted by her own reflection. The dress hit all the right notes—a cottage-chic babydoll that confused innocence with temptation. Its vintage cotton fluttered about her figure when she moved, and the green and cream floral pattern set off her eyes and golden skin. Rey leaned over, bowing toward the mirror with a critical little frown...<em> yup, he’d have a good view straight down her dress, if he... </em> </p><p> </p><p>The thought made her stomach lurch all over again. Abruptly, she straightened, meeting her own worried hazel stare. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> The rent is going to be late.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>She thought of her landlord, wondering what he’d think, wondering what he’d do. Then, she looked around her loft—smooth, worn oak floors, rustic brick walls, her art corner with its easel and paint-splattered drop cloth. She felt a plaintive throb in her breast. She couldn’t lose the flat she so loved. Meeting her own eyes in the mirror again, she faced the truth.  </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> There was no rent, and she didn’t know when she’d have it. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>That settled it. Without giving her plan another thought, she slipped on her crocheted ballet flats and marched out the door. </p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p>
<hr/><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>Her landlord occupied the penthouse of her historic building, her awareness of which had little to do with their socio-economic differences. </p><p> </p><p>Ben Organa-Solo was the opposite of your average, run-of-the-mill landlord. He was older than she, but not by more than a decade. He was tall and built like an ox, his features dark and alluringly gruff. What more, he was single, a fact she’d breathlessly gleaned the last time they’d spoken. </p><p> </p><p>Rey was hopelessly attracted. Ben possessed a dark magnetism, and every casual encounter they’d ever had felt charged with something intangible...she’d tried to paint it once, a roiling storm of midnight blue shot with arcs of electric violet. It hadn’t done her perception justice. </p><p> </p><p>Now headed for his floor, she could only pray that the heat behind their light banter wasn’t a figment of her imagination. </p><p> </p><p>“Let it be reciprocal,” she mumbled, a breathless mantra she recited as she skipped the stairs two by two, trying to burn the ungodly amount of nervous energy she housed. <em> Six, seven, eight, nine… </em> As she counted the floors, she tried not to think about what she was doing. There really wasn’t a pretty way to frame it—what she was up to was dirty, <em> so </em> dirty, barely alleviated by the fact that she’d fantasized about doing it more than was healthy. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> If only he let her, she’d make it good for him, so so good. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Arriving at the penthouse floor, she exited the fire escape and huffed, blowing an errant strand of hair from her eyes. </p><p> </p><p><em> You’re desperate, and you’re willing</em>. Could a woman be more dangerous? She didn’t know, but as she approached the one door on the twelfth level, she was about to find out. </p><p> </p><p><em> Deep breaths. Deep breaths. </em> Rey licked her lips before rubbing them vigorously with the back of her hand, making sure they were flushed and rosy. </p><p> </p><p>She knocked twice, ignoring the furious internal pounding against her ribcage as the sound of footfalls neared the other side of the heavy, wooden door. A shadow clouded the peephole for a second, followed by the sound of his lock disengaging. The door swung open, revealing...<em> him</em>.<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>The dark eyes of her landlord widened almost comically, scanning her appearance as if compelled. He quickly recovered, setting his sights on her face with brows raised. </p><p> </p><p>It was a good first reaction, and she greeted him with a shy smile.</p><p> </p><p>“Rey,” he said, his deep voice betraying surprise.</p><p> </p><p>“Hi, Ben,” she murmured, one hand nervously toying with the flounce of her skirt. “Do you have a moment?”</p><p> </p><p>“For you, always,” he said, standing aside and gesturing for her to enter. “Please come in.”</p><p> </p><p>Rey passed where he stood, hyper attuned to his nearness and size and the fact that they were about to be alone. </p><p> </p><p>As he closed the door behind her, she watched the muscles of his back flex beneath the fabric of his tee, glancing down to take in the sight of his muscular ass and strong, jean-clad thighs. She let herself swoon a little. <em> Built like a god, and always lethal with black on black</em>. </p><p> </p><p>He turned back to her with an inquisitive smile, studying her before striding over the open floor plan towards his kitchen. “It’s hot today. Are you thirsty?”</p><p> </p><p><em> Um, yes, but not for what you’re offering</em>. “Sure, water’s good,” she answered softly, standing at the side of the door and slipping off her shoes. </p><p> </p><p>As he busied himself with glasses and ice, she forced herself to ignore the fact that she was actually in his home, repressing the overwhelming urge to absorb the intimate details. <em> This is not a date, and that’s not what you’re here for—don’t give yourself any further reason to get attached.  </em></p><p> </p><p>He turned back to face her with a tall glass of iced water in each hand and stilled. She didn’t miss the way his dark eyes simmered he took in her approach, closing the distance between them on silent, bare feet.</p><p> </p><p>Entering his personal space, Rey gazed up at him, wide-eyed, unsmiling. “I have no money for rent,” she said bluntly. Her fingers brushed his as she took both glasses and set them on the marble countertop. </p><p> </p><p>He swallowed, his adam’s apple bobbing with the motion. “That’s fine—you don’t have to—”</p><p> </p><p>His words caught as she stroked a hand up the crotch of his jeans, fingers curling lightly at his belt. Their stares were locked so she saw the minute way his eyes widened as he processed such a bold touch, enacted so delicately. <em> Bewilderment chased by concern, concern eclipsed by blatant hunger. </em> His brows were drawn together, but he was still. Statue-like. <em> Not denying her. </em></p><p> </p><p>“Rey—I don’t care about the money, and you don’t have to do anything you don’t want—” </p><p> </p><p>Again he quieted abruptly, rendered speechless as she slowly, deliberately sank to her knees in front of him.</p><p> </p><p>“But that’s just it,” she countered, fiddling with his belt. “I <em> do </em> want to...if you’ll let me.”</p><p> </p><p>Ben’s nostrils flared as he inhaled sharply. His fingers twitched as if longing to touch her. Still, he refrained, staring down in conflicted silence. </p><p> </p><p>The full weight of her own self-imposed vulnerability crashed over her head. Her eyes glazed over. From her lips tumbled a single word, saturated with yearning and growing desperation. <em> “Please.” </em></p><p> </p><p>His own eyes seemed to soften, or was it a trick of the light? He swallowed again, lips parting as he gave a single nod. </p><p> </p><p>It was all she could hope for. </p><p> </p><p>With his consent secured, she turned her attention to the growing bulge of his cock. It was in keeping with the rest of him—formidable, and cloaked in black. Delicately, she stroked her fingers down its length, feeling him harden beneath the thin layer of fabric. </p><p> </p><p>Her mouth watered. She felt breathless, dizzy with the fact that he was allowing this. </p><p> </p><p>Following her impulse, she leaned in and inhaled against him. Her eyes fluttered closed as she breathed in the mineral scent of rain and a note of cedar, the earthy musk of warm skin. </p><p> </p><p>She exhaled, bathing him with heat.</p><p> </p><p>He shifted his weight as she mouthed at the side of him, his hand fumbling for the marble island counter to their left. </p><p> </p><p>Her eyes wandered up, seeking his as she drew the elastic down and unveiled him fully. </p><p> </p><p>His expression looked stricken, lost. <em> But to what emotion? </em></p><p> </p><p>She responded instinctively. “It’s okay,” she breathed, gently folding her hands around his now-erect shaft. “I’ve got you.”</p><p> </p><p>Gazing into his expressive eyes, she somehow managed to appear stoic. <em> Oh, god, I can’t close my hands around him. </em>.. </p><p> </p><p>She broke eye contact and shifted her attention to the warm flesh she held. <em> Jesus…  </em></p><p> </p><p>Suddenly, her own mouth was dry and she gazed at his manhood, eye level and not a foot from her face. </p><p> </p><p>His cock jutted out from a dark, trim nest of hair, its length flushed and gorgeously heavy. <em> Was he ten inches, twelve? </em> She’d always been bad at math, but her artist’s eyes missed no detail. His shaft was pale and lightly traced with veins. It had a slight upward curve, mirroring her most beloved dildo. She knew what that angle that would do, imagined the women he’d wrecked with such a wicked tool. </p><p> </p><p>Rey licked her lips. <em> Lucky them, whoever they were.  </em></p><p> </p><p>A sculpted bell crowned his shaft, flushed and a darker shade of pale. A droplet glistened its tip, compelling her.</p><p> </p><p>She bent to taste it. </p><p> </p><p>His skin was silken against her tongue, the clean, musky scent of him making her drunk with want. She licked at his slit hopefully and her attentions were instantly rewarded, precum welling up like magic. She nursed at it, humming fitfully. </p><p> </p><p>From the corner of her eyes, she saw his hands ball into fists, his breathing hitching.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Oh my god, I can’t believe this is really happening... </em>
</p><p> </p><p>She paused but didn’t look up, utterly enraptured with his dick. “Ben,” she remarked, her voice soft and husky. “You taste like heaven.”</p><p> </p><p>Without further teasing, she slipped her mouth over him, sucking lightly at the bulbous head.</p><p> </p><p>The sound of his expelled breath sent a thrill down her spine, spurring her on. </p><p> </p><p>His texture was exquisite, plush and tender and so inviting. She had to open her mouth wide to accept his full girth, careful to shield him from the scrape of her teeth. <em> And this was only a fraction of him… </em></p><p> </p><p>She groaned, a contented sound that she knew he’d feel as well as hear. Her eyes closed as she slid her mouth up and down his shaft, easing herself into a meditative state of giving. It was difficult with her pulse racing along, synapses abuzz with the illicit thrill of having him—<em>him, of all people—</em>in such an intimate way. </p><p> </p><p>She struck up a rhythm. With him in as far as she could stand it, she would pause, working her mouth around him in an attempt to suck at his fully submerged length. </p><p> </p><p>For his part, Ben remained passive, seemingly content to let her lead the action entirely. She’d come prepared to accept a variety of reactions from him, from flat-out rejection to a rough and well-deserved face fucking, but <em> this… </em>He stood with hips jutted ever-so-slightly toward her mouth, silent but for the occasional groan or hitched breath. </p><p> </p><p>He was hard to read, and for that, she valued his subtle expressions of enjoyment all the more. They were praise in themselves, feedback that she was doing it well. And she wanted that; wanted to make him swoon at the memory of this, to make him feel like this was a good trade. </p><p> </p><p>A moan slipped from the depths of her throat, reverberating up his shaft. The eroticism of kneeling before him was melting her from the inside out. </p><p> </p><p>He was slick with her spit, wet as the hot throbbing place between her thighs. Each stroke grew even more comfortable, her gag reflex easing as she worked him steadily deeper. </p><p> </p><p>The silence of his flat filled with the wet sound of flesh on flesh and his occasional grunt or hitched gasp. The sounds, the way he filled her made her cunt clench with unfulfilled want. Indeed, she’d felt the first telltale gush between her nether lips the moment she’d sank to her knees. Now, each bump of his head at the back of her throat added insult to injury, leaving her pussy dripping with envy. </p><p> </p><p>There would be time for her to attend to her own needs. For now, he was her only priority, and she set herself to prove it.</p><p> </p><p>Her hands remained wrapped around his base, holding him at the right angle as she worshiped with lips and tongue. For all her determination, she didn’t think she was going to be able to swallow all of him—he was just too long, and she felt sure she’d break her jaw trying to get it wide enough to handle his magnificent girth. </p><p> </p><p>She plunged down his slickened shaft, relaxing as his plush head met the back of her mouth before sliding down her throat. It was a funny thing, how the act of deepthroating reminded her of freediving; taking him was the breath before the plunge, only it was <em> him </em> diving into her. </p><p> </p><p>Wetness dripped down her thigh at the thought, drool slipping over her chin. Her whole body wept for him, immersed in the idea of being a vessel for his pleasure.</p><p> </p><p>All this time, she’d refrained from looking up at him in a paltry attempt to keep some part of herself separate. But now, she found herself peeking up at him, her lips split wide around his enormous cock. His expression was divine, one of pained reverence. She committed it to memory, an image she could climax to over and over while lying alone in her bed seven stories below.</p><p> </p><p>“Fuck, Rey,” he marveled, his voice shaky. </p><p> </p><p>It was the first thing he’d said, and she inched deeper in reply, sucking as best she could.</p><p> </p><p>His dick jumped in her throat as he let out a broken groan. “Rey,” he murmured urgently, hips pumping a little as he slipped his hands around her skull. “I’m going to...” </p><p> </p><p>Gently, he tried to ease from her mouth.</p><p> </p><p>Her heart did something funny as she realized...he was being chivalrous, uncertain if she was okay with him coming in her mouth. She shook her head a little and folded her hands over his, encouraging him to guide her.</p><p> </p><p>“Are you sure? I—<em>oh shit, Rey…” </em></p><p> </p><p>She sucked vigorously, letting him take the reins as he plunged deep and stilled. His hips jerked once and he groaned, a near-sob of pleasure. The first hot spurt hit the back of her throat and she felt her clit throb fitfully, a sympathetic mirror of his own climax. He was crooning mindlessly to her, babbled praise he released over and over in the depths of her throat. </p><p> </p><p>She swallowed until he slowed, ever-diligent as she nursed the last drops fourth.</p><p> </p><p>With something close to reluctance, she released him with a demure pop, relishing the slight give of his flesh as he softened.</p><p> </p><p>Ben eased his hold on her, fingers lightly tracing her cheeks, her jawline. “Oh...Rey...you are…” Words failed as he huffed, still trying to catch his breath. </p><p> </p><p>She glanced up at him with the ghost of a pleased smile, saying nothing before turning back to his manhood. Without hurrying, she tucked him back into his briefs, careful as she buttoned his jeans and slipped his belt back into place. Before arising from her knees, she stroked him once, lovingly.</p><p> </p><p>As she stood, his fingertips trailed up the backs of her arms, questioning. A silent invitation she ignored.</p><p> </p><p>Even at her full height, he was just so tall. She stared up into the dark eyes of the man whose dick she’d just sucked. His cum was warm in her belly, and her pussy throbbed like a dirty secret. For all of the heated intimacy they’d just shared, she suddenly felt tongue-tied and unsure.</p><p> </p><p>Ben seemed to know, doing her the immense kindness of keeping his distance rather than trying to pull her into his arms or glossing things over with false sweetness and small talk. He didn’t need words; his eyes saw through her, turning flesh and bone and all that conflict into glass. </p><p> </p><p>She swallowed, feeling like a schoolgirl beneath that knowing stare, all her previous swagger evaporating like dew in the morning sun. </p><p> </p><p>Taking a step backward, she stammered, “I, I’ll let you know the absolute instant that wire comes through. Gotta run now—I’ll be in touch, okay?” </p><p> </p><p>Weak. All of her, weak, fleeing like a coward and slipping into her flats as the words tumbled from her mouth. She flashed an uncertain smile back at him as she opened his door and left him standing there in the middle of his kitchen, sated and confused. </p><p> </p><p>His liquid, dark gaze stayed with her long after she’d left.</p><p> </p><p>Seared upon her skin.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Here I am, writing a blow job one-shot when I should be working on Take It There.</p><p>I'm feeling blocked on my main WIP though, and I had a dream about this scenario, soooo...I dunno, a porn-related writing exercise??! Yeah, that. </p><p>I have several artists in my family, and they’re characters. It was fun conjuring Rey as this really quirky, impulsive artist-type who shuns conventional logic and runs off a unique moral compass. Also wanted to subvert control issues some, write Rey as within her comfort zone to give pleasure, but afraid to receive it. That moment when she's rising up and he's touching her, putting out the signs that he's game for further intimacy—she responds like Cinderella at midnight, fleeing the scene the instant it appears that he's going to reciprocate in some way.  ; )</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Ben</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The fallout from Rey's smash-bang visit, told from Ben's POV. He does what guys do and tries to analyze everything, making a vital discovery in the end.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The door closed and the quick clip of her footsteps faded. A yawning silence filled the room, marred only by the pounding of his heart.</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ben let his head fall back, unseeing as the world slowly regained its axis. </span>
  <em>
    <span>That actually just happened. </span>
  </em>
  <span>It was entirely too illicit, a dark fantasy come to life. </span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Unbidden, his fingers drifted over his cock. It tingled beneath his touch, still sensitive. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Real. </span>
  </em>
  <span>He groaned into the silence. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Holy shit, was that not just the boldest—? And she was just absolutely, mind-fuckingly incredible.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>So brash, and yet her energy had been… </span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>He frowned, trying to put a finger on it. Rey flared to life behind his eyes, sinking to her knees, looking up at him with liquid want. He’d describe her demeanor as tender, with an underlying submissive quality that was fucking narcotic.  </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Ben sucked his bottom lip through his teeth, biting it.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The way she’d sucked him…gentle, but determined to swallow as much as possible. He had never had a blow job like that, </span>
  <em>
    <span>never. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Not in or outside of a relationship, not in his wildest dreams. Hell, he didn’t even know they were </span>
  <em>
    <span>done</span>
  </em>
  <span> that way.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Rey had treated him like a god, taking her time with the act, building it up slowly until…</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He swore aloud, remembering the soft little moans she made, of the way she persisted, working him in deeper and deeper. She hadn’t shied away from finishing him off, drinking his cum down as if it contained the essence of eternal life. Though it was blatantly carnal, the whole encounter was underscored with a sublime, undeserved reverence. </span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Just the thought had his cock swelling all over again, and he shot a glare in its direction.</span>
  <em>
    <span> Monster.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Now that his brain was settling into a semi-coherent state, Ben began to analyze, pulling the shambles of the past half hour into a semblance of order. There were many ways this crazy turn of events could be looked at, and not all of them were pretty. </span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>As much as he might like to pretend it wasn’t the case, Rey’s stunning performance came about because she had no way to pay him rent. That was the cold, hard truth. </span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Art was her livelihood, and it was a notoriously fickle business. He thought of the abstract piece he’d quietly bought several months ago. It hung in his office, a brilliant study in contrast with its graduated, dark horizons and wild sprays of gold. Her talent was glaringly obvious, and he never assumed she was anything but set.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Knowing that money was uncertain for her didn’t sit well; life was enough of a struggle without the added hardship of financial woes. He didn’t want that for her, not that there was much he could do at this stage in the game...</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>He frowned, attempting to figure out the logic that governed her decision making. She was an eclectic girl—free-spirited, chaotic, brilliant—the archetype artist. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>And dear god, her inspiration extended well beyond canvas….</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>And damn it, if his lust didn’t completely spoil the integrity of his concern for her finances….</span>
  </em>
  
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Wryly, he acknowledged his own motivations, his higher self vowing to include that bit of evidence when he tried to plot a course for what to do.</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>So. The impetus of her proposition was a lack of rent. She had maintained that wasn’t all, but words were cheap. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Had she enjoyed it? Or was it just a business interaction?</span>
  </em>
  
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Rey didn’t strike him as much of an actress. On top of assuring that she’d wanted to engage, her actions felt like a tell. From the way she’d undressed him to the blinding moments of his orgasm, every lick, every glance was a hint. In the heat of it all, he’d looked down to see her little toes curling, and he would’ve bet everything he owned that she was aroused.</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Fuck, how he’d wanted to pull her up and find out—taste the lingering traces of himself on her lips and carry her off to bed. To transform her into an ocean of need before plunging in to ease the pain. To enact vengeance for gifting him so unforgettably.</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>But she’d departed without inviting his touch, her lovely eyes shadowed with some unknowable thing. Was she afraid, or just cautious? Or maybe, she didn’t want anything more. After all, what did it say about him that he’d accepted her offer? </span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Rey surely deserved better. </span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>But fuck, if she hadn’t come at him with the sweetest, most luscious temptation. If it was a trial, he’d failed. </span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>So you had a slip of morality. You’re fucking human, Ben.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>He looked down, self-consciously scratching at the back of his head. </span>
  <em>
    <span>You’ve only been fantasizing about her from the moment she walked through your door.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Something glistened against the dark cherrywood at his feet. He knelt, frowning. It was a droplet. He swiped it onto his index finger. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Clear and slippery. </span>
  </em>
  <span>The twin glasses of water sat at his left, untouched.</span>
  <em>
    <span> Not water, and not him. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Ben raised his hand and inhaled. His heart skipped as the musky scent of <em>female</em> filled his nose. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Hidden beneath layers of fabric, his cock hardened all over again, triumphant.</span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>She </span>
  <em>
    <span>had </span>
  </em>
  <span>been aroused.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>...I have no idea what I'm doing with these two. it's just on a flow and fun, so I'm going with it. : )</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Rey</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Ben: takes the high road and sends immediate email, making sure she isn't left wondering about what to expect. goes out of way to reassure that nothing's changed, they can be mature about this whole casual...<i>thing</i> that she initiated.</p><p>Rey: <i>oh shit</i></p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p> </p><p>His email arrived within an hour of her exit.</p><p> </p><p>The chime of her phone interrupted the pursuit of her third orgasm. Rey paused, fingers slowing to lazy circles as she eyed the phone on her nightstand. Her eyes fluttered closed as she returned to being pinned beneath him, arms restrained while he drove that godlike cock into her. She moaned, hips rising to meet an imaginary thrust, her flushed cheek turned against the pillow.</p><p> </p><p>Her phone chimed again, stopping her cold. <em> A priority sender.</em></p><p> </p><p>“Shit,” she muttered, reaching over to snatch it. Propping it on her chest, she settled back against the pillows. Her eyes widened as the name jumped off the screen, sending everything in her world to a crashing halt. <em> Ben Organa-Solo.  </em></p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Oh fuck. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Glancing at the time, she saw that a little over an hour had passed since she’d stammered something lame and bolted for the door.</p><p> </p><p>Her heart thumped furiously as she read the heading, <em> “About tonight.” </em></p><p> </p><p>She kicked herself for imagining that she alone set the rules of engagement. Taking a deep breath, she clicked open his email.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Rey, </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Before time gets on, I want to clear the air between us. I don’t assume to know your mind, but I hope that your visit was, as you stated, partially motivated by desire. No matter what’s going on with your finances, I don’t want you to feel like you owe me anything, rent or otherwise. Know that the next time we meet, I’ll conduct our relations in the same way as always; with cordiality and full respect for all personal boundaries. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> I needed to get that off my chest, so you know what to expect. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Of far less relevance: I had no idea when I woke up this morning that I was in for the most erotic experience of my life. There are no words.  </em>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p><em> Yours,  </em> <em> Ben </em></p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Her held breath released as the phone slipped from her hand, pixelated light arcing erratically as it fell into the sheets. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>***</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Also Rey: <i>what do you mean my actions have consequences?!</i></p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Rey</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>After waiting out the week in agony, Rey reaches out to Ben with rent. It goes pre-dick-tably.</p><p>OR:</p><p>Rey continues on her mission of self-sabotaged-cock-blocking, while managing to give head at the same time.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Welcome, all, to another chapter of "As the World Burns." Today, we've whipped up a special treat for you, a Molotov cocktail (puns galore!):</p><p>How many licks does it take + How many mistakes will they make = sooooo much sexy yearning and angst—a fanfic writer's delight! Hope you all enjoy it too.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>The days slunk by, long and lazy. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ben’s message was on her mind a lot, as if frequent thought might somehow make up for lack of action. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Over and over, she parsed its tone and timeliness.</span>
  <em>
    <span> Tone: very mature. Timeliness: crazy considerate.</span>
  </em>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His email was either a thoughtful gesture, or maybe he just didn’t like uncomfortable silences. Or, it could also be that he liked her as a tenant and didn’t want to lose her because of her own capricious decision-making, or, maybe he’d really liked it but didn’t know what to make of her hasty exit...</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Whatever the case, she hadn’t replied, telling herself that his wording hadn’t indicated that he expected one. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Even with how gracious he was, she still wondered whether he’d call and evict her for being a total fucking heathen...that, or hit her up for an encore. But each day, the light in her flat faded away without further contact. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Rey painted furiously, immersing herself in the process of distilling sensation and feeling onto canvas. Even so, she was unable to escape thoughts of him. She didn’t do portraits, but she’d already envisioned some of his colors...his raven head of hair could be justified using chromatic black. For its gloss, moonglow, an ethereal neutral violet that lent itself so well to dark colors. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>She’d seen him run his hand through his glorious mane, a nervous habit that she was enamored with. Even before she’d skipped upstairs and (maybe unwisely?) offered herself, she had fixated on his hair and imagined its texture beneath her fingers. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Aw, hell. Who was she kidding? </span>
  </em>
  <span>Nothing about him went unnoticed, and </span>
  <em>
    <span>everything</span>
  </em>
  <span> bound her up in knots: his emotive eyes and intense expressions. The masculine quality of his swagger. The size of his hands. The way he unfailingly held the door for her if he saw her coming. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>And now, she had a whole new trove of intimate, little things to obsess over. She knew the warm, virile scent that hid in the warmth of his groin. The upward curve of his cock. The way he’d restrained himself until the end, at last engulfing her head within those massive hands. The earthy taste of his semen.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Laying in her bed at night, she conjured him and melted into ecstasy. After, she lay awake staring dazedly at the ceiling, telling herself that her sex life might be able to feed itself on memories of him and him alone...and literally be self-sustaining.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Wednesday rolled around and the wire she’d been waiting on showed up, a very late payment from an Argentinean buyer. Still, she dallied, semi-paralyzed by the fallout of her own making and half-curious if he’d try to contact her. Still, he didn’t.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>By Friday, she couldn’t stand it. She stuffed the bills into an envelope like she always did and texted him before she could get cold feet.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Hey, Ben. I’ve got rent. Can I swing up and drop it off?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>No nothing about any of that other stuff</span>
  </em>
  <span>, she thought, fidgeting anxiously with a loose thread at the hem of her shorts.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Approximately six minutes later, he responded. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>Of course. I’m in for the day—so anytime’s good.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Oh god, okay.</span>
  </em>
  <span> She nervously checked her reflection in the mirror, making sure she wasn’t a total mess. Marigold-yellow cut-offs, heather tee knotted at her waist and no paint on face. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Good enough</span>
  </em>
  <span>. On a whim, she rustled her hair into messy twin french braids that she tied with a scrap of yarn. Satisfied, she jolted out the door, planning on being cute...and nothing else. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Ascending the floors, she squared her shoulders, chanting a new mantra. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Just cute, nothing else. Just cute. Nothing ELSE.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Fast forward to standing in his doorway and she was a goner. Rey stared up into those dark eyes and felt her feet lift from the earth. Ben didn’t make anything easier when he ran a hand through his hair, though he at least had the decency to look slightly gobsmacked as well.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s good to see you, Rey,” he murmured, quick on his feet.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>She registered the subdued warmth in his tone, the tell that they were a bit more intimately acquainted than before. Her heart beat fitfully in her breast and </span>
  <em>
    <span>why oh why hadn’t she just mailed the rent?!</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, Ben,” she managed, drifting over his threshold with a grace she didn’t feel. The door closed at her back, sealing them in. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Rey exhaled in a whoosh, trying to break the static crackling through her nerves. She spun to face him. “Ben,” she began, gazing up at him with a conciliatory look, “I’m really sorry for, ah, the other day. I’m an eclectic mold of person, and sometimes, I make crazy decisions, and—” She faltered as he held his hand up for her to stop.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t be sorry, Rey.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>His deep voice slid through her mind like a velvet ribbon.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not,” he added, stepping closer, improperly close, not close enough.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>His lids were low, his stare so direct. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Oh, god, he CAN see right through you—see how easy it would be to—</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I brought you rent!” she blurted, holding up the envelope like a last lifeline.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Slowly, deliberately, his hand came up...and folded around her own, gently forcing her to keep ahold of the cash. Her stomach dropped, the room seeming to collapse in around them.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t want your money,” he murmured, his dark gaze caressing her upturned face.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>That sultry rasp sent her already-dubious logic careening to its death.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>With utmost care, he raised one hand, cupping her cheek in a ghostly caress. Her lashes fluttered at the contact, lips parting as if to breathe in. </span>
  <em>
    <span>There was no air in the room, he’d taken it all.  </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>His thumb brushed over her mouth, the softest of explorations. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>The audacity of it all.</span>
  </em>
  <span> Rey found herself leaning into his cupped palm, gone for the way it cradled her whole face.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Folding to her knees was natural as breathing, her hands hooking into his slacks in a silent plea. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>All the sultry dissipated and his face grew alarmed. “Rey, no. This is not what I wanted—don’t get me wrong, I love it, but I need more of you…”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“You don’t understand,” she blurted, her tone raw. “I love how it makes me feel—I really do—and I want to do it to you—” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I already fucked up once by allowing it—sweetheart, you deserve so much better—”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Let me? Please?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>She looked up and found him biting his lip. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“But, it’s</span>
  <em>
    <span> your</span>
  </em>
  <span> turn,” he said, entreatingly. If he’d looked conflicted the first time, now he was positively torn. Leaning in, she nuzzled the elongated bulge in his slacks, rubbing her face over it with feline affection. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He rocked back on his heels, groaning softly as he ran a hand down his face. Then, those exquisitely large, capable hands descended to his belt, helping her undo it along with his fly. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Her head was light on her neck, every thought flown but one. A single purpose as she brushed open lips over the thin fabric of his briefs. “Ben. You have no idea how much I’ve thought about this.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>She heard the huff of his exhale above her. “How are you real?” he croaked wonderingly, large fingers tucking a stray wisp of hair behind her ear. “Is this okay—can I touch you too?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>With her lips pressed to the side of his still-clothed cock, she peered up at him, clinging to his thighs like a child. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Oh, to let go.</span>
  </em>
  <span> She’d gone without human touch for so long. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay,” she said in a small voice, aware that he had no idea what kind of a concession it was.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>His dark eyes burned with adoration, making her feel like a queen. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Peeling down his underwear, she gently claimed his length in both hands, making a wordless sound of appreciation. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Not an exaggeration of her dirty mind</span>
  </em>
  <span>. She looked up at him, her face earnest. “You’re really well endowed, you know.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He caressed her cheek, trailing around the underside of her jaw. “You handle it as if it weren’t,” he returned, his eyes sparkling.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>She hid her smile against his shaft, inhaling the heady scent of him. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Warm fingertips spread along the back of her neck, stroking at the sensitive skin there. The tiny web of nerves beneath her skin lit up, responding like drought-starved plants to a sudden rain. Something inside her thawed, shoulders relaxing as a burden she hadn’t been aware of released. It felt incredible, she was grateful enough to want that for him too.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>With a single, heartfelt kiss to his salty-slick tip, she immersed him. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>His low groan was a primal sound, shooting down her brain stem and through her spine.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>She sucked gently at him, teasing the sensitive skin just beyond the crest of his head. Her mouth watered, responding to the friction. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>His cock was silken when dry, but once slick, his texture became something sinful. Her tongue delighted in that tenderness, swirling over his crown, licking at the underside of his shaft. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Ben’s breathing was erratic, but he was diligent with his touches—stroking her braids, caressing the nape of her neck, fanning around to trace her cheekbones, her jaw. The bloom of sensation was heady, and her eyes fluttered closed as she melted into the luxury of being touched.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>The only holdout was the little bud between her thighs. It throbbed persistently, reminding her brain that his dick was in </span>
  <em>
    <span>the wrong place</span>
  </em>
  <span>, that he’d compliment her body </span>
  <em>
    <span>so well</span>
  </em>
  <span> and give her what she’d been craving all along: </span>
  <em>
    <span>Kisses, so many different kinds. Strong arms holding her close. The warm weight of another body pressing against hers.</span>
  </em>
  <span> All of the things she couldn’t replicate with her arsenal of vibrators and dildos. The things she couldn’t have unless...</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Nope; too risky. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Her mind cut right through the spell of want, firm despite her arousal. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Sleeping with him, opening yourself...it’d only complicate things...more than they already are. Enjoy having him like this and go back to your toys.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>A pang of regret rolled through her, and just like that, she was on edge again, back to being unfulfilled.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>She whined around the mouthful of him, a muffled plea that he must have interpreted as a wholly different kind of struggle. “Rey, sweetheart...you don’t have to go further.” His words were breathy, strung out on passion. “Get up here and let me kiss that pretty mouth…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A fresh gush flooded her already-soaked panties, and </span>
  <em>
    <span>fuck her boundaries</span>
  </em>
  <span>. She held her breath and pressed, feeling the give as he passed the back of her throat.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He muttered something unintelligible as his head tipped back in rapture. “Christ, Rey,” he stuttered, cradling her face as she withdrew to breathe. She hummed softly to let him know she was happy, lashing him with a warm, wet tongue. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Again, she slid onto him, going to that blissful place of subordination, relaxing completely so as not to gag. Deeper, his size causing her throat to swell as she accommodated him.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>His fingers trailed down and he grew very still for a second, paused over the bulge in her throat. All at once, he let out an extended groan that might have been a cuss word.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The sound sank into her lust-addled brain like a dart; he could feel himself inside her, an awareness that nearly tipped her into her own orgasm.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Dizzy with the rapture of it all, she slurped her way off him and cupped a hand under his balls. “Do you like being touched here?” she asked, a little hoarse with wear. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He stared down at her with a shaken expression, nodding.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cradling the soft skin of his scrotum, she opened her mouth and positioned his head on the pillow of her tongue. All the while, she gazed up at him through her lashes, sliding him in and out in subtle pulses.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His expression was wrecked, a mask of impassioned distress. Satisfaction surged through her and she wiggled a little, rubbing her thighs together.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>She withdrew and pressed a demure kiss to the spongy flesh around his slit. “I want you to come for me again. Like last time,” she added, gently massaging his balls. “Please?” </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>The pained look on his face was priceless. “Woman-child,” he whispered, stroking one of her braids. “Do you have any idea how much you’re ruining me?” </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>She smiled sweetly before pursing her lips around his tip, sipping the surges of his precum. Pausing her work, she spoke quietly, eyes fixed firmly on his dick. “You’re far too beautiful to be ruined. Let’s fix it, then.” </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>With a deep breath in, she plunged down, going to that place in her head. </span>
  <em>
    <span>You are a perfectly designed vessel for his pleasure.</span>
  </em>
  <span> Her cunt throbbed as she relaxed even more, sliding him deeper, ever deeper than before. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Inside of her, a fever prevailed, molten and glorious. Her cunt wept as she impaled her mouth on him, gushing to the sound of his rising panic.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>When he came, it was exquisite. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He was babbling something about how he’d sell his own soul for this, hip flexors humming with energy as his climax threatened. Through it all, his hands stayed gentle even as he began to work her mouth with little pulses. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He gazed down at her like she was a living, breathing miracle. “Jesusfuckingchrist, Rey, you’re sofucking</span>
  <em>
    <span>goodtome. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Sweetheart,” he blurted, stroking her jaw, “I’m gonna come in your mouth, is that okay?</span>
  <em>
    <span>—oh fuck, Rey...” </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>She could feel the ripple up his shaft the instant before, his balls tightening in her hand. The first shot was so strong, she nearly gagged, jamming him deeper to pass the trigger spot at the back of her tongue. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Into her throat, he rocketed, surging and hot. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Her cunt clenched hard, despairing as her mouth took it all. </span>
  <em>
    <span>And, my, what a lot of it, there was.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>As if his body felt the need to keep up with appearances, his orgasm was lengthy and copious. She swallowed, struggling to keep up as he pumped wave after wave of his thick, creamy cum into her.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>His muscular thighs trembled and he groaned, rocked by the force of his climax. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Even when he had slowed to the final, lazy spurts, she continued to lavish him, gently pulling forth the final drops. Making sure he knew how much she adored it.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>With some reluctance, she gave his shaft a last, firm draw and released him. He was only marginally softer, his cock shiny and polished with her spit. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>She’d just wiped her face and tucked him back into his charcoal-dark briefs when she found herself standing, his arms strong around her.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Beautiful, exquisite girl,” he breathed, his hands stroking her face before caressing down her sides to land on her hips. “You’ve got to let me…let me reciprocate. I swear you won’t regret it...”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>He was so close to kissing her, she could see it on his face. She faltered, torn with longing as her head and her heart battled it out.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Fuck, Rey, can’t you just LET yourself?—</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>No!—you know how it’ll go for you, it’s NOT a good idea—</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>But look at him, use your feelings! He’s so sincere, and just imagine what his lips could do—</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Her mouth opened, closing again like a fish out of water. His body against hers was warm and dizzyingly masculine. He bit his lip as he watched her, sex incarnate as his hands mapped the rounds of her hips, sliding up the dip of her waist. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Worry shot through her. </span>
  <em>
    <span>She had teased a tiger, and now it wanted to play.</span>
  </em>
  <span> “I really shouldn’t,” she managed, hating how conflicted her signals were. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you sure?” he inquired, a sensual purr that splintered her defenses. His lips grazed her temple as those magnificent hands rubbed over her back, covering ground so easily. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Mmmm...felt so so good—</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Cursing her </span>
  <em>
    <span>stupid</span>
  </em>
  <span> faults, she stuttered out an unconvincing, “N-no, uh, not tonight.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Ben grew still for a beat. Then he retreated enough to look at her clearly, drinking in her every tic before relinquishing her body with a final, lingering slide. He remained well within her orbit while managing to give her just enough space. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Rey felt a little astounded, given...well, everything that had just transpired. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Initiated by you,</span>
  </em>
  <span> her brain added, unhelpfully. The heat of his body wafted against her as she gazed up at him, waiting for the ax to fall. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>His voice was low and melodic and utterly unfazed by her rejection. “OK, how about dinner sometime? I’d love to make you dinner, or just drinks if you prefer.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>She averted her eyes, finding a spot on the ground that riveted her. “I want to—really, I do, but...I don’t know, Ben.” Peeking up, she gave him a sheepish look, one foot shuffling back and forth over the smooth, dark wood of his floor. “I—I’ve got...ah...issues, in case you haven’t noticed...” </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“We all do,” he replied. “None of us are spared.” </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Rey watched him, surprised by his relatability and the fatalistic note that colored his tone. Then, a wry smile tugged at the corners of his generous mouth. “But…I’m willing to take a chance on yours, if you’ll do the same.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Yearning launched within her breast, wild and perilous. </span>
  <em>
    <span>This man would be the death of her, and there’d be no one to blame but herself.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“You’ll never have a weirder date than me,” she warned, frowning up at him.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Good.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Her lips twitched at his perseverance, half-dismayed, half-elated. “Well, okay,” she said, hesitating. “It’s only fair since I uh, I took a bit of a chance on you...um, twice, so…” She paused, clearing her throat. “Yeah. I mean yes. Just drinks, though. No dinner yet.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>An easy pleasure brightened his face, and she just stared, realizing she’d never seen him smile so openly. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“I’d like that—a lot. Just name the time and place.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Rey pursed her lips as she weighed the possibilities. It had been so long, and her emotions could be unreliable. She conceded that, despite the higher potential for intimacy, his place would be better than a public setting. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Here’s good,” she blurted, “if that’s okay with you.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s perfect. How is your schedule this week?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>She laughed hollowly. “Flexible. One of the great, standing perks of being an artist.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Tomorrow, then. Six o’clock. What do you drink?”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, anything.” A tiny smile lifted her lips. “Surprise me,” she said, turning to beat her characteristic retreat. Glancing over her shoulder, she saw that he trailed along, intent on escorting her to the door. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Like a gentleman</span>
  </em>
  <span>, she thought, catching herself liking it and putting a stop to that action. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Get out, NOW before you do something REALLY stupid—like, stupider than before—</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>She’d managed to slip into her shoes when he addressed her. “Wait, Rey. I need to ask you something.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She paused, her hand hovering over the knob as she turned to face him. Fear and longing chased within her as his eyes drifted over her face, searching for something.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Am I the only one? he asked. There was a vulnerable note there, one she hadn’t anticipated. A longing that she responded to without thought.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“You are.” </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>The intensity that characterized his face melted away as he reached up, tucking that errant lock of hair behind her ear. “Good. I want to be your only one.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>His quiet assertion was double-edged. It whittled at her defenses, leaving her pleased and alarmed in equal measure. The same question lay on the flat of her tongue, unspoken. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Sometimes, there was safety in not knowing.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>***</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>You know how relationships don’t always start on the right foot?  <i>...hold my vino…</i></p><p>ALSO! At some stage in this game, I’m going to namedrop some of Rey’s fav sex toys. If you’re not shy and care to share a personal fav, leave it in the comments and it may get featured. ❤️</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Ben</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Their first honest date, told from Ben's POV. The combined powers of his allure and several glasses of sangria get him what he wants; some insight into what makes Rey tick.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Rey had arrived twenty minutes late. </p><p> </p><p>She’d blown through his door glassy-eyed and tense and utterly gorgeous, the white fabric of her skirt drifting behind like a pair of forsaken wings.</p><p> </p><p>An hour and a half later, she sat opposite him on the couch, hair down, her legs tucked comfortably beneath her. He quietly marveled at the picture she made—<em>Rey, perched contentedly in his living room, drinking sangria</em>. The sight was above worth, and he thought if she’d only keep coming, she could <em> always </em> be late and he’d <em> still </em> feel lucky as fuck.</p><p> </p><p>The fruit-laden libation had managed to distract from her initial jitters, though not in the usual way alcohol did. </p><p> </p><p>She’d brightened when he handed her a cup, curling her small hand around the goblet and holding it up to his window. “You made this?” she’d asked, peering at the cubes of melon and citrus rounds. When he replied that, yes, he had, she’d turned and broken into a vibrant smile, some of the tension dissipating as she clinked her glass against his.</p><p> </p><p>With wine in hand, Rey had sauntered about his flat, admiring the potted dwarf banana tree he kept and examining his Verner Panton globe lamp with interest. He had followed along, chatting amiably to cover up his own nervousness as they meandered down into his sunken living room.</p><p> </p><p>Once they’d settled, Ben kept the conversation light. While they talked about her art and his pastimes and the excessive heat they’d been having, his attention had drifted from the strands of baby hair that curled at her ears to the paint stains under her fingernails and everything in between. He saw the softness in her eyes when she looked at him, and he didn’t miss how she lingered on his mouth before glancing away.</p><p> </p><p>All signs indicated that she was sweet on him, and he was determined to crack the mystery of her inexplicable shyness. Ben had spent nearly every waking hour since yesterday thinking about how to approach her seeming aversion to two-way street intimacy. </p><p> </p><p>There was no way to <em> not </em> talk about what had happened before; it had to be discussed before they could continue.</p><p> </p><p>They were into their second glass of sangria when a lull in conversation provided his opening. Taking a breath, he fumbled a silent prayer and addressed the unavoidable. </p><p> </p><p>“When you came to me a week ago, I thought you might’ve been a fever dream. And then yesterday, again.” He arched a brow at her. “Rey,” he chastised softly, “you’re making a habit of leaving me an incoherent mess.”</p><p> </p><p>She winced. “I’m sorry. My impulsiveness gets me into trouble, and I acted without thinking. I don’t mean to leave you...an incoherent mess.”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh, no?” </p><p> </p><p>Her cheeks flushed. “Well, maybe a little. I <em> did </em> want to make it memorable.”</p><p> </p><p>“You don’t owe me an apology, and...I memorized every second,” he murmured, swiping a line in the condensation on his glass, feeling the chilled water run down his thumb. “If anything, I should be apologizing to you. Yesterday, your intentions were pure, but I—I’ve got to be honest—I wanted you so bad. I instigated it, and…” He paused and it was his turn to grimace, rubbing a flustered hand over the back of his neck. “I hope you’ll let me make it up to you, show you that I <em> do </em> have more restraint than that.” </p><p> </p><p>“Ben,” she said with a hollow chuckle, “in two shakes, I go from harmless to a 5-alarm fire—I’m the last person you should ever apologize to about lack of restraint.”</p><p> </p><p><em> She was deflecting, letting him off easy</em>. Ben chewed on the inside of his lip, considering her. “But, you are restrained, Rey. It’s something I hope we can talk about, because you already know—intimately well—how I respond to you. I asked you out because I’m interested, and you should know that I have been for awhile.”</p><p> </p><p>She looked at him curiously, one eye catching the golden afternoon light. “Awhile? As in…?”</p><p> </p><p>“Months—many months; way before you ever decided to ruin me for any who might come after,” he quipped, smiling crookedly. “But the way we were acquainted—as landlord and tenant—it was a complication that had me stuck. Thanks to your ‘impulsiveness,’ I’m now free to at least express myself.”</p><p> </p><p>Her eyes searched his face, looking like something sat at the tip of her tongue. When she remained silent, he continued.</p><p> </p><p>“I need to know your feelings. You are…” He pursed his lips, searching for the right word. “An enigma. You have me baffled, and I just can’t—for the life of me—figure out if you want me too, or how.” </p><p> </p><p>Leaning forward, he took her hand, marveling at how small it was in his own. “So tell me. What is it with you and men? Er, me in particular.”</p><p> </p><p>“There isn’t a thing in the world wrong with you, Ben Organa-Solo,” she murmured. “<em>You </em> are the cat’s meow.” </p><p> </p><p>His heart lifted, only to sink a moment later when a shadow crossed her face. “I think about you too, and I want the socks off of you,” she admitted in a near-whisper. </p><p> </p><p>He waited in suspense, trying not to let it translate in his posture.</p><p> </p><p>Gently, she squeezed his hand before letting it go. “I just…” She paused, grappling with herself before blurting: “I’ve got a killer array of sex toys, and they meet my needs without any added complications—from boys, er, men.” She flashed him a hopeful, do-you-buy-it look. “I’m a practical girl, I guess.”</p><p> </p><p>It took a biblical amount of control for him to take the mental imagery that accompanied Rey with <em> a killer array of sex toys </em> and lock it away for later analysis.</p><p> </p><p>“Practical?” he repeated, brows lifting quizzically. </p><p> </p><p>Rey nibbled her lip, looking painfully pensive. </p><p> </p><p>His heart went belly-up. <em> Definitely not an actress. </em> “Do I have to call bullshit,” he teased gently, “or are you going to fess up?”</p><p> </p><p>She made an exasperated noise and flung her hands up, letting them drop unceremoniously into her lap. </p><p> </p><p>He tried not to smile. <em> Okay, not an actress, but definitely dramatic. </em></p><p> </p><p>“Fine,” she muttered, glumly. “It’s not untrue, but it isn’t all of it—I have issues with letting go of control. It’s a protective thing; my emotions get swept up far too easily when I, when I <em> allow </em> myself to... She gestured impatiently, staring at him with the most delightful pleading expression. “To you know,” she finished, looking a little ruffled.</p><p> </p><p>“To...have sex?” he supplied hesitantly, trying to be tactful. </p><p> </p><p>“Well, yeah,” she blurted, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. “I relish giving pleasure, as you kind-of-already know, but receiving it is a whole nother thing. I”m sensitive to it, more than other people, I think…” She trailed off, her hazel eyes uncertain as she gauged his reaction.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m with you. Please, go on.”</p><p> </p><p>“I love fucking,” she announced, oblivious to the way his nostrils flared and he shifted in his seat.</p><p> </p><p>“But it opens me up, makes me vulnerable. Coupled with the fact that I tend to make really bad decisions with guys, and, well...I’m just not an ideal partner. So, I just don’t go there—no sex, no boyfriends.”</p><p> </p><p>He sipped his wine, needing something, anything to combat the sudden dryness in his mouth. He’d imagined a host of reasons for her standoffishness, but this hadn’t been one of them. Gathering himself, he prepared to try and talk her down. </p><p> </p><p>“Oh, Rey,” he coaxed softly. “<em> Sweetheart </em>.”</p><p> </p><p>She blinked twice, startled by the pet name. It took willpower—so much—to give her space.</p><p> </p><p>He inhaled, exhaled as he thought of how to respond. It wouldn’t do to say she was wrong, and in all fairness, she <em> had </em> already proven she could make erratic decisions. The only thing he could do to address her own perception was to meet it with his own. </p><p> </p><p>Carefully, he set his wine glass down. “You can’t wall yourself off like that.”</p><p> </p><p>“Why not?” she asked, her willfulness betrayed by a small waver in her voice. “It’s safer that way, and it’s worked so far…”</p><p> </p><p>“Yes, but you aren’t <em> living. </em> Not really. You repress yourself for fear of potential hurt, then you try to make it up through substitutes—a whole lot of them, by the sounds of it. But, you <em> do </em> have a choice...you don’t have to roll that way, and you deserve more.” </p><p> </p><p>Her eyes grew luminous, the light in them magnified. “It’s hard,” she said, her voice cracking on the last word. She was so compelling that he inched closer, drawn by the near-gravitational need to pull her into his arms. “I know it is, but I need you to be honest, for your sake—and of far less consequence, mine. Do you want anything more...than what you’ve already had of me?”</p><p> </p><p>“Yes,” she uttered, her voice raw. A single tear broke free, skipping down her cheek.</p><p> </p><p>He watched it fall as a groundswell rose within him. <em> God, he needed her to let him—just let him soothe her. </em> “Then allow yourself, Rey, be with me. How we started—it doesn’t have to go that way; it doesn’t even need to include sex at all. The pace you’re comfortable with is the one I want.” Slowly, he extended a hand. <em> “Please.” </em></p><p> </p><p>Her lips parted but she remained speechless. The suspense was eating him alive, and for an agonized moment, he thought she would reject him and flee as she had done. Twice, now.</p><p> </p><p>But, miracle of miracles, she reached for him, her delicate hand clasping his own as she glided into his arms. </p><p> </p><p>Receiving her was symmetry; she filled the space against his chest like it was meant for her, wrapping her arms around him in turn. She cried a little, and his heart ached in time with the sound.</p><p> </p><p>He murmured quietly, one arm tight holding her tight while the other cradled the back of her head. At length, she quieted, her head lolling back on her shoulders.</p><p> </p><p>She blinked owlishly up at him.</p><p> </p><p>“Eyes puffy, cheeks flushed and tear-stained,” he murmured, stroking the hair from her temples. “You’re still the most beautiful thing…”</p><p> </p><p>She was utterly still but for the quiver of her lower lip. Then, she stretched up, the warm, soft press of her kiss banishing all further thought.</p><p> </p><p>***</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Happy Mother's Day to all moms—you who care for children and partners, friends in need, and animals great and small. Motherly love knows no bounds—you do God's work and make our world a more livable place!🌟💓🧁💌💐</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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